You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you are holding.
A pity party is the one event that no one needs an invitation to. It has to propensity to sneak up on us all at some point in life but it’s not a party you want to make a habit of attending. It’s time to face self-pity head on by dealing with the blows life tends to throw. Here are a few ways to train your mind to stay ready when negativity comes knocking.
9 things to do to end self-pity:
1. Face the Problem Head-on
Fight or flight is usually the first choice when problems arise, and as a person who strives to be mature, you should fight the urge to run away from your emotions. Feelings of sadness, pain, or disappointment become much less difficult to face when you learn to deal with them properly, by acknowledging the situation and employing positive action. Don’t compare your fight with others, you’ll always find away to feel bad for yourself when you should be rebuilding your inner strength preparing for the journey ahead.
2. Stop Self-Pity Early On
The words you formulate and the mind you form them in are two of the most powerful tools of the human body. You’ve probably heard the saying, “whether you think you can, or think you can’t– you’re right.” The same is true with positive and negative forces affecting our lives. When we constantly think negatively, we’re sure to create the same reality. Before the downward spiral drops you into a deadly black hole, end your own suffering by simply making up your mind to think more positively. Watch how your life changes.
3. Alter Your Perceptions
Now that we know just how easy it is to hold on to negativity, it’s time to hold ourselves accountable and ask the powerful question, “Is this a bad life, or just a bad moment?” You may find that what you’re going through really isn’t that bad and may not even matter hours, days or weeks from now. When you decide not to attend the pity party, you may find that there was no need to host it at all. Your reality is only what you make it. With that kind of power, why subject yourself to being the bearer of misfortune. Always try to find the good in what life throws your way.
4. Turn Negative Thoughts into Inner Challenges
Take those negative thoughts that do creep up and make a challenge of them. Challenging yourself to turn an unfavorable forecast around in your favor is like winning a game within. Our old way of thinking and negative selves are the only ones we should be in competition with anyway.
5. Don’t Waste Your Time
Time is the most valuable commodity on earth because once it’s spent, you can never get it back. Instead of wallowing in pity, take those moments and that same energy and put it towards something that’s worth your time.
6. Practice Gratitude
Again, thinking about everything that’s going right in life is the best way to push those thoughts of pity and grief aside. It’s said that those who are thankful will always have more to be thankful for. Your thoughts of gratitude turn every breath into a reason to remember how blessed you are.
7. Help Others
Lending a helping hand to others in need tends to put our own “needs” into perspective. The helping hand can look like lending your time and resources, or giving away items that no longer serve you. Seeing someone’s face light up because of the way you’ve helped them is a rewarding feeling that you’ll want to experience over and over again.
8. Find a Solution
It’s a blessing to have someone who you can unload and express yourself to. However, it’s important to make sure that expression of emotion doesn’t turn into constant complaining which is the line leader on the path of self pity. Sympathy or even empathy will only feel good for the moment. It’s when you decide to find a solution that situations begin to change.
9. Remain Optimistic
Life comes with its share of celebrations as well as its share of problems. There’s no person on Earth who is exempt from feeling the trials of life, but how those trials are faced is something we do have control over. Remaining optimistic no matter what your situation looks like can be tough, but is necessary to make it in this life.
Practice makes habit, which is why it’s important to practice becoming mentally strong daily. Fighting the many urges to wallow in self pity is combatted by the built up strength that comes by adhering to some or all of the practices mentioned. Just like a normal workout, you have to constantly train your mind to see your world in a more positive light. Life happens to us all, it’s how we decide to play the hand we’re dealt that makes the game more fun.